Worrying and Obsessing--Sister Sins

The past five months have been a whirl. I met a wonderful man named Jim. We fell in love and immediately started making plans to join our lives together. We purchased a house. Planned a wedding that we wanted to be simple--and found small or large, weddings aren't simple! We remodeled the new house to fit our needs. Combined two households of furniture and "stuff" which was a joint combination of 80 plus years of marriage! We planned. Worked. Made a schedule of what to do each day. Between these details, we had children and siblings to meet--Jim has seven siblings, I have four. Grandchildren --18 total--to interact with. Oh yes, there was Christmas to fit in there too! We've done pretty well with this extra added into our lives, yet  both of us were beginning to feel very stressed.

I was taken with a devotional I read last week about "sister sins":  worrying and obsessing. I'm a planner. Always have been. I learned it at my mama's knee. I think the planning is fine. Obsessing and ruminating about those plans over and over is unhealthy. Ok, LORD. I need to keep in mind the Scripture from the ancient poet, David: But my eyes are fixed on you, O Sovereign LORD; in you I take refuge.......Psalm 141:8a.

How about the other sister? Worrying. We all do it. Some more than others. But if we realize it's an affront to our God to worry, should we? One of Jesus' disciples, Peter, wrote later in his life this: Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. I Peter 5:7. I like to say I'm not a worrier, but I do get anxious at times--and that's worrying!

I hope I can remember those "sister sins" and remind myself I have the Lord of the Universe on my side and He does care for me! He cares for you, too, friend!

Wear My Peace

Wear My Peace grabbed my attention yesterday in my devotional reading. How often do we hustle and bustle about, thinking only about the next moment, the next day, next week, next month, next year? I certainly do. Notice the capital letters. My--the eternal, only God deserves the capital letter. Jesus told His disciples, Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you. The next capital: Peace. Jesus told His disciples again...Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. Only Jesus' peace will give that true peace.

Really? I can only speak from personal experience. I have had Peace in the most excrutiating times. I think God knew me best and brought these experiences into my life to help me learn to Wear His Peace. He gave me Peace when my marriage was in trouble. When they told me, "Your baby is dead." When my husband suffered a killing stroke. When they told me, "He's gone." When I sat in a faculty meeting and they said, "We're closing this school. You won't have a job after this school year." He gave me Peace in the happy, good times. Those good times seem even better after a hard time. They really do.

I wouldn't be honest if I didn't say I did not want to Wear My Peace when they told me my second husband was brain dead. But I've donned that Peace, for I've learned it's the best thing to do.

I've learned that to Wear My Peace in the good and bad times is better, though not always easy. Jesus was right when He said, Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. It is really true. Not just good--but better!!

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Enjoy the Peace only Jesus gives.

The Willamette Valley

Face the Fear

Make fear your friend. Fear is a reality. That's what I heard this morning as we listened to an athlete who participates in the "skeleton" an Olympic sledding competition. They went on to say you can either be paralyzed by it--or accept the fear and face it.

My fear is a natural one: OK--take a deep breath I say to myself--my fear is losing my husband. I will face that fact. Should I worry? Be anxious? Or do I enjoy the gift God has given me? I choose to face it. Enjoy my life as it is right now. To face my fear and enjoy my Jim, the man God--and only God--brought into my life!

The Olympic athletes face their fear as they plunge down the mountain slope. The bobsled track. The ice skating rink. Your fear is different. It may be losing your job. Losing money in a retirement account. Losing your battle with cancer. Your parent. Your spouse. Your home. Not belonging. Forgotten. Alone.

Many Scripture verses come to mind as we think about our fear. My favorite is in Deuteronomy 31:8 The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

With Hope

This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams.....

We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
(There's a place by God's grace)
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again.....

We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true, so ...

So we can cry with hope
And say goodbye with hope

We wait with hope
And we ache with hope
We hold on with hope

We let go with hope

(Words by Steven Curtis Chapman)

Eight years ago, I listened to these words. It was at the memorial service of Bill Rudberg. I couldn’t listen to this song after that service for a long time. But now I read the words and remember the melody and recall how God has worked in my life! How faithful He has been to me. Yes, there’ve been lots of tears and sadness. But much joy and love, too. 

That is the theme of my life. I can see how faithful God has been to me.....and how much hope is in my life. I wouldn’t be honest if I didn’t admit sometimes I wonder what’s around the next bend in the road, because loving brings hurt and sorrow. But for today, I will reflect on the hope God has given me and the many blessings He has surrounded me with. That will be enough. But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you.....(Psalm 39:7)

Rest in peace--for I know you are in the presence of our Savior, Jesus--George William Rudberg, Jr., 09-26-1943  -  02-03-2006. You were loved and are missed. But with full assurance, we will see you again. With hope.

Remembering......

I think it's always good to look to the future. But from time to time, we should reflect on the past.

Four years ago, today, Henry Blair Graybill II, better known as Blair, entered Heaven's gates. It was sudden and unexpected. He left family, friends and students in shock and dismay at his passing. It seemed too soon.

A Bible verse I memorized as a child seems so appropriate here:

One thing have I desired of the LORD and that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to enquire in His temple.
Psalm 27: 4 (KJV)

Blair is there now, beholding the beauty of the LORD. And I believe he would, if he could, say to us, "The best is yet to come!" For he has entered in to the presence of our Lord and Savior. He is beholding the beauty of the LORD.. 

Thank you, God, for Your gift of family to know and love. Blair was loved and is missed. Yet, I know we will see him again.

What Will They Say About Me?

What will people say about me when I enter eternity? More important, what will my family say about me? I want them to say they were loved by me. That they knew they could count on me during their greatest needs and in the good times, too. That I was fun to be with. Most of all, will they know with full assurance, I'm in heaven with Jesus?

I’ve been thinking a lot about final words that are said about someone who’s died. On Tuesday, January 21, 2014 at 9:15 p.m., my mother in law, Mary Teresa Delaney Mozena Hough entered eternity. I didn’t know Mary very well, for I've only been in the family for a few months. Mary had Altzheimers Disease and just that says a lot. I saw a spark of the real Mary several times, though, in spite of her illness. She had beautiful white hair, a clear complexion with few wrinkles and was a  spritely, young looking 90 year old woman. She had a wonderful English accent and loved to dance. At our first meeting, we did a jig together. About her family she said, "Eight children--lots of work, eight children.”  I agreed with her and thanked her for the excellent job she did in raising my beloved--her third-born, James Patrick Mozena. I think I see lots of her in Jim. Fun-loving. Intelligent. Hard working. Lots of energy with a spark for life. I think she loved fiercely, too, just like her second son. Thank-you, Mary, for giving life to the wonderful man I'm married to. Thank you for giving life to an extremely talented group of family members. I am blessed to have known you--even for a short time. You will be missed. Rest in peace, Mary. 

Friends--what would we do without them?

It is one day short of four weeks of marriage to Jim. I am so blessed to be with him! We are content and happy just to be with each other.

We survived the holidays with our blended families. There are a total of eight children and eighteen grandchildren! We each happily have lots of siblings whom we love to be with too.

And then there are friends. What would we do without them? After things calmed down just a little, we listened to the audio wedding CD. We were overwhelmed with the professionalism of the music played. The musicians were my friends from church. They took time out of their busy schedules to practice and give up their Saturday morning during the busy Christmas season. For us!

 I just enjoy listening to the music. The soft jazzy style of the piano, along with the ballad-like violinist, the bass, guitar--and of course, the percussion and keyboard. They easily could play in a club locally and people would love to hear them jam. We asked Melissa six days before the wedding ceremony to sing one of our favorite songs and she graciously did so. It also was perfect!

There were also friends who helped in so many areas. One friend drove all the way from Spokane and ironed table cloths the day before the wedding. Others picked up food and placed it out for the reception. Still others helped with clean up. Video taping. Sound. Lights. Make up. Wedding cake. Programs. Too many to mention all of them.

Then there were friends who came to the wedding. We were so honored by them. What would we do without these friends and of course family? The church would have been empty! There would have been no music. And life would be without the richness of friends!