The Plans We Make

I try to write a blog each week, but this week was a little different.

It started with my birthday on Wednesday. We celebrated a day early so my grand girlie, Annabel and I could share the day. Annabel's is May 1, mine, May 6.  We had a wonderful Cinco De Mayo theme. Jim and Erika planned the menu perfectly. We had chicken fajitas, corn pudding, salad, and chili rellenos. For dessert, of course, chocolate cake.

Jim and I planned to take a week at the beach so I could begin completion of my next book, Beyond Second Chances. We camped at Cape Lookout State Park and enjoyed walks on the beach, beautiful sunsets and lots of writing times.

On the weekend, Jim's sister Rosaleen and her husband Ron joined us and on Saturday evening, we planned a fresh seafood fest. Ron volunteered to cook and we ate the seafood in courses. First, we had baguettes with olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Ron fried up some oysters, and we enjoyed the tasty morsels and cole slaw, took sips of chilled white wine and dipped our bread in the olive oil.

Next course was fresh scallops sautéed in butter. Divine! Ron announced he would start the next course: fried razor clams. "Let me get something to read, while you cook," I said, and dashed off to our campsite to find the paper.

Enjoying our seafood

What happened next was completely out of our plans. I stepped into our RV and tripped--I guess--all I know, I was tumbling in mid-air and landed crookedly on the ground. I had extreme pain and knew I'd done something very serious to my ankle. 

All of our nicely made plans for progress on the book disappeared. I was frustrated with the pain, frustrated that now things would be different than what we'd carefully planned. Instead of complaining about how our best made plans were foiled, I thought it would be nice to point out what did work out:

1.  There was a hospital 20 minutes from our campground.

2.  There was excellent care given there--and they recommended we go to Vancouver right away for surgery. 

3.  We used the bed in the RV to transport me to Peace Health, where they were waiting for me at ER.

4.  My surgery took place early Sunday morning--I didn't have to wait all day--performed by a leading orthopedic micro vascular surgeon.

5.  The staff at PH were wonderful caregivers and we felt like we were family.

6. Throughout this time period, we experienced God-given calmness during the all night ordeal.

I came home on Tuesday and meals were ready, a system to take care of our meal schedules were in place--Jim can't do everything after all. I received phone calls offering equipment for my convalescence. A scooter for when I can use it--a snazzy burgundy. A shower chair and other things. All because people care and want to help. 

Thank you Mary Jane!

Tonight, my sister will be here with me while Jim takes my daughter, Erika, to "Phantom of the Opera"--I was supposed to be there at curtain call, but I'm glad they can enjoy it.

I will be honest and say I wish this wouldn't have happened. That I didn't crush my ankle, have to cancel some of our plans. 

We can make plans for our future but I'm learning that the outcome can be different than what we expect.

So, I will plan. Try to finish my book. Check my calendar frequently so I don't forget what's on there, and rest in what God has ordained for my day. And not fuss too much when my plans are foiled. There's always tomorrow.

Cape Lookout--stunning view--before the accident

Comfort---and Hope

"Hope," she said. Each person was to say what they learned in our GriefShare class. This was the final session. Jim asked each person to share what they'd learned during the thirteen weeks together. Others shared, but this one word statement caught my attention.

Each person in the group had suffered ultimate loss. One, a mother. Another, a husband. A wife. A sister. A good friend. A father. Some experienced wrenching unexpected death. Others expected the death, but it still was wrenching. Each in their own way stumbled into the mind-numbing reality that their loved one was gone. There were tears shed each week, for that's often what grieving people do. There were shattered dreams and anguish shared. 

We comforted one another each week by listening to their story. But there was more. We sought the comfort of our Heavenly Father, the ultimate comforter. We learned to tell Him our sorrows and pain. 

Each morning, Jim and I read Scripture and this verse caught my eye as we read in the last letter to the Corinthians:

Finally brethren, farewell (rejoice)! Be strengthened, (perfected, completed, made what you ought to be;) be encouraged and consoled and comforted (emphasis mine); be of the same [agreeable] mind with one another; live in peace, and [then] the God of love [Who is the source of affection, goodwill, love, and benevolence toward men] and the Author and Promoter of peace be with you.

2 Corinthians 13:11 (amplified) 

Does that mean now that the thirteen weeks are over that we've arrived and there's no more pain? No. But we're a little farther down the the road of grief. Some have moved a little more forward than others. For some, it takes more time to walk the road. 

Our hope as leaders of GriefShare,is that each person can rest in those words written more than two thousand years ago--and at this time in their lives, be strengthened. Be encouraged. Consoled. And most of all, be comforted. 

Profound Loss---To---Sweet Memories

I’ve been working on my new book this week. It’s a memoire of sorts and I’ve been thinking a lot about my past. I’ve thought about my father and my mother. My grandparents. I’ve tried to imagine what they thought and how they felt about events that took place in their lives. There is much I know about them. But also things I don’t know. 

Jim and I are leading a GriefShare group and someone made an interesting statement. She said something like this, “I don’t think you ever get over grief. It’s with you for the rest of your life.” I don’t think I totally agree with that statement, yet right now, that’s how she feels for she’s still in the stage of “profound loss”. That’s what grief is like. There is that “profound loss” when someone very special in your life is taken away from you in death. Sometimes the death is sudden. Sometimes it’s a prolonged goodbye. Sometimes, it’s “old age” and expected—at some time—just not now. I’ve experienced all of these. They are all a profound loss. 

How do you get from profound loss to sweet memories, you might ask. I would say from my experience, you work through the grief. It is work to grieve. Don’t try to fool yourself that time alone takes care of the grief, for it doesn’t completely. One of the best things a person can do in their grief process is talk to God. He is the giver of life—and the “taker” of life, too. If you cannot pray because of the trauma, then read His words from the Bible. They are soothing and very real. Talk about the loved one who is now gone from earth. Review your life with them. Think about their talents and failures. Tell your story to a “safe person” many times—that’s why there’s GriefShare. Purposefully look at photos and remember. If it’s a family member in your household, go through their things and determine what to do with them. Admit this person was not perfect and review what was and what was not. Write out things you loved and things you regret. Write these things down—for you—no one else—needs to read them. Finally, give all of this to God, who knows and understands better than anyone. 

Sometimes we haven’t lost someone in death but have experienced some kind of profound loss. Such as divorce. Loss of job.Loss of health or illness. Loss of a home. Loss of financial security. Loss of a friendship. I could go on but I think you get the point. All of life is grief. That sounds hopeless, but it doesn’t have to be, for God the Father sent His Son, Jesus to take care of that “grief”. He, who was perfect, was the perfect sacrifice for our sins—the breech between humankind and God. Not only did He die, but He rose again! No other god has done that. Only Jesus. That’s why we have hope and someday, we’ll not have to grieve. We can look forward to no more tears—or dying. 

In the meantime, we move forward on the road of life. Suffering profound loss. Working through the profound loss where—as I have been doing—remembering sweet memories. 

Five Days Later....

This Sunday is Palm Sunday. We celebrate Jesus making His famous entry into Jerusalem where people clamored to see Him. Touch Him. They placed palm branches on the road for the donkey to walk on while Jesus was riding on his back. They cheered, Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the Lord! (Luke 19:38b).

Only five days later, they shouted Away with this man! Release Barabbas to us! Pilate, the Roman ruler who was overseeing his trial, wanted to release Jesus and appealed to them again and they kept shouting, Crucify him! Crucify him! (Luke 23: 18, 21).

I shake my head and think I wouldn't do that. I believe! But would I? Really? I like to think I'm a follower of Jesus all the time, but sometimes I fall short.

I was reminded of it this morning. Jim and I were in our little RV, reading the Bible together as we do every morning. Someone knocked on the door and I quickly put my Bible out of sight to answer and greet our visitors. Why did I need to put it away? I didn't need to. Moments after they left, my spirit was chastened. I was so concerned of offending, I realized I was no different than those fickle followers of Jesus more than two thousand years ago.

Lord, You are so good and loving. Your Book is so precious and worthy to be read. Forgive me when I put it away, thinking I'll offend someone by it. Help me to be bolder in my faith. Thank you that you forgive. Immediately. Thank you, God, that I am forgiven. That I can look forward to celebrating Your resurrection, Sunday after next. You died so I can live. Thank You. Chasten me, as You did this morning when I forget. Amen.

Life is Scary Sometimes

Lighted palm trees in California

We've been gone for a mini vacation the past nearly two weeks. I know. Some of you are not in your "golden years" and able to just take off like we did. I realize I'm blessed.

On our travels, we saw beautiful scenery as we drove through the mountains and valleys of Oregon and ventured in to California. We gazed at the beautiful and formidable peaks--Mt. Shasta, Mt McLoughlin and and many unnamed ones. We drove through gold country in northern California and imagined what it would be like when those seeking for gold came through more than a hundred years ago.

Mt Shasta

Klamath River

We spent time with family, enjoying good food, playing games and laughing a lot. We even went to a cruise-in and I got to ride with my brother in his vintage sports car.

Later, we ventured to southern California and strolled through the Reagan Library. Presidential Libraries are excellent resources for history lessons. As we drove up Presidential Drive, the entry road leading to the Library, huge posters of each president were displayed. We walked through the museum and re-lived those times in the eighties and before. Saw a replica of the oval office when President Reagan used it. Heard stirring speeches uttered by the 40th president. Walked through Air Force One, and Marine One helicopter. Relived the scary times of crisis throughout the world. Stood outside in the warm California sunshine and viewed the beautiful valley below. It was wonderful.

Here we are with the Reagan's

A few days later, we were happy to be back home to sleep in our own bed. To check how things had grown while we were gone. See our family again and our kitty. We turned the TV on and heard the news--just as scary as during the time of the eighties. Then, as now, there were strikes going on. Trouble in the Mideast. Attempted assassinations--and successful ones, too. Political sniping from both parties. Scary times throughout the whole world. Nothing much has changed in the past 18 or so years since Reagan was President. 

I'm so relieved the world is not held together by human beings. No, we can put our trust in the only One who does hold the world together. Our Creator God. He tells us just that many times. 

I lift my eyes to the hills--

where does my help come from?

My help comes from the LORD,

the Maker of heaven and earth...

He who watches over you will not slumber;

Indeed he who watches over Israel

will neither slumber nor sleep...

The LORD will keep you from all harm--

he will watch over your life;

the LORD will watch over your coming and going

both now, and forevermore. 

Selected verses from Psalm 121

That's what keeps me going. Those promises from long ago. How about you?

Rocks

I've been speaking to women's groups this week in the Sacramento area. It has been good, retelling my story how during the difficult times of my life, God was there as my rock and refuge. I tell them about the scariest time in my life when I rappelled down Rooster Rock, a nearly 400 foot cliff in the Columbia River Gorge.

As I was preparing to rappel down the cliff, my husband, Bill, instructed me, "Just lean back, sweetheart, trust the rope and the protection".

Lean back, does he realize I'm leaning into thin air, trusting the rope to hold me? I thought.

Bill carefully checked my harness and the rope connected to my figure eight apparatus. "It looks good, Shirley. Trust me. Trust the rope and the protection. You'll be OK."

"OK, here I go." I said with a trembling voice. I leaned back and I talked to myself the whole way down. Keep my legs straight to the wall. Keep my brake hand back. I slowly moved down the face of the rock with the double ropes in my right hand. It seemed like forever before I reached the foot of the rock. "OK, honey. I'm down!" I hollered up at Bill so far above me.

Very quickly, Bill was down beside me. Praising me for my braveness. "Good job, Shirley! You mountain woman, you!" This was his way of praising me and it filled me with a warm glow.

Years passed since that day. I recall how I had to utterly depend on Bill's expertise in setting up the rappel for me. I had to trust he did it right.

I've learned that rock climbing and dependence on the rope is a lot like life. Sometimes we're placed in precarious places. Scary places where we have to trust God, our Savior to be our "rope" and rock as we stumble through life's troubles.

This past Wednesday, we were reading Psalm 94 and some verses jumped out at me:

If the LORD had not been my help,

my soul would soon have lived in the land of silence.

When I thought, 'My foot slips,'

your steadfast love, O LORD, held me up.

When the cares of my heart are many, 

your consolations cheer my soul. (verses 17-19)

But the LORD has become my stronghold,

and my God the rock of my refuge. (verse 22).

The years have passed. I've had my share of troubles and loss--just as most of you may also have experienced. Isn't it wonderful we have a personal God who cares about us? I'm so greatful for the God I serve. The God who is our rock!

Rooster Rock

Joy Moments

Life has its twists and turns. In the past nearly 15 months, I've experienced joy every day. Life has been good. I'm married to a wonderful man who loves me and cares about me. There have been times, though, when I've had to stretch to find the joy.

Most of you know I've had major losses in my life. I've said goodbye to two husbands, and a child, in death. You've had your own sorrows and loss, I'm sure. That's life. It is full of joy and sorrow. What I've learned in these contrasts of life is to grab that joy time when it's there and hang on with all your might. We don't know what's around the next bend. That's not to scare you. But life is like that. It isn't perfect. Things don't always work out the way we want them to.

I was at a wedding ceremony where the pastor entreated the couple to remember a verse written centuries earlier that applied to a marriage. I've tried to apply it to my life.

See that no one pays back evil for evil, but always try to do good to each other and to everyone else. Always be joyful. Keep on praying. No matter what happens, always be thankful, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

I Thessalonians 5:15-18

It's pretty simple, really. Not always easy, but good advice. Grab the joy moments. Always (verse 16). Be thankful--no matter what happens. Always (verse 18). Enjoy the joy moments. Even the simple ones. Like the shimmering full moon I saw last night obscured slightly by the clouds. Like the first sip of coffee in the morning. Like the delight of my granddaughters excitedly telling me about the valentine boxes they made for the party they were going to attend. Like setting the table with flowers for an ordinary meal.  Like my husband, telling me he loves me--forever and ever. The joy of a simple conversation with a sibling--who knew you from the beginning. Like knowing our Lord loves us and is faithful and will work in our lives. The passage above continues:

Now may the God of peace make you holy in every way, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless until that day when our Lord Jesus Christ comes again. God, who calls you, is faithful; he will do this.

I Thessalonians 5:23, 24

Grab the joy. Enjoy the moment. And be thankful.