Why am I feeling so bluesy today? I did all the right things. I had my coffee. I read my Bible. I prayed. I even went to the gym. But I’ve got this uneasy sort of feeling. I thought about what day it was. It’s the end of January and January is filled with many dates full of sorrow and loss. January 29th especially.
On that date in 2006, my husband of forty years, Bill, had a second stroke and his condition worsened. He had been in the hospital for two days and they had been watching him carefully. Late in the afternoon, the neurosurgeon decided Bill needed a dangerous procedure to keep him from dying. Dr. George Shanno performed an angioplasty of the four arteries in his brain. The immediate outcome was successful and many of Bill’s symptoms were relieved. He was able to move his left side more easily, though he would still need therapy. His neurologist thought he would be a good candidate for that. We had a few good days with Bill and it seemed like he would beat the latest battle on his body but on February 3, 2006, Bill passed into eternity with his Lord and Savior.
Many things happened after that. I learned to live alone for the first time. I had to find a new job. I made myself learn new things I’d never had to do before. I missed Bill and hated being alone. But then, I had joy and new love. I married another wonderful man. We had just returned one month earlier from a six week trip to South Africa. It had been a second honeymoon.
January 29, 2010. I didn’t think about the significance of this date. Blair and I had a wonderful day. It was a Friday. We had been to the gym. We had a special Friday night dinner. Scallops with angel hair pasta and roasted red pepper soup. A good white wine. A movie. Togetherness.
Moments later, Blair didn't feel well. His symptoms worsened and I called an ambulance. He lost consciousness and was taken to the hospital emergency room. They needed to relieve pressure on his brain from a hemorrhage. The same neurosurgeon, Dr. George Shanno, performed the surgery. Later he told me he didn’t think there was much hope and several hours later, Blair was declared brain dead.
We donated his kidneys and on January 31, 2010, Blair also entered eternity.
Yes, the 29th of January has significance to me. Of loss and sadness, but also triumph as I know both of those men had faith in Jesus Christ and were in heaven with Him. I have the joy of knowing I will see them again when it is my turn to enter heaven’s gates.
Now I understand my uneasiness. The malaise I was experiencing. I must walk through this time of significant dates. I’ll get better. Just not today.
