Valentines Day Times Three

Three wonderful years we've been able to  celebrate the holiday of love.

It makes me forget those lonely days when I didn't have a lover to make the day special. 

I think back ten years ago. It was only eleven days after Bill, my first husband, entered eternity and I was by myself. That day, my dear sister Joyce drove down from Seattle just to be with me. We visited our mother, who was recuperating from a broken hip in a local care center. We then selected a quiet restaurant in Ridgefield to have dinner. Just the two of us. It wasn't the same as being with my husband, but my soul was soothed by having a companion with me I loved. It was bearable. 

Six years ago, I was alone again. My sweet Valentine was abruptly taken from me only 15 days earlier when my second husband,Blair, entered eternity. I don't remember what I did that year. I know I was numb from disbelief that after only 17 months of marriage, I'd be alone again. 

But I wasn't alone, for I had my loving Savior, right beside me. Some people might question the sense of an unseen Person there. But I did. God promises that he is. So many times I reflected on the passage in Isaiah where God promises to be the husband.

"...and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood. 

For your Maker is your husband

the LORD Almighty is his name--

the Holy One of Israel is your

Redeemer;

he is called the God of all the earth.

The LORD will call you back

as if you were a wife deserted and

distressed in spirit--

a wife who married young,

only to be rejected," says your God.

Isaiah 54:4b - 6

There were times when in the early years of my first marriage where things were not good. I felt like I didn't have a husband though I was married. I took hope in that passage. "My Maker is my husband." 

Perhaps you're in a "widowhood" period of time in your life. You'd like to be married or with someone who loves you like no other. I can't promise you that God will bring that perfect man into your life, but instead, He gives Himself! The Holy One who redeemed you!

Lean on that this Valentines. And though I'm with a lover on this third Valentines celebration, I haven't forgotten what it's like to be alone--yet not alone. May you sense the "God of all the earth" as you celebrate this day of love. With someone. Or with Someone. Either way, you can have the best!

January Memories, Part III, It Must Be Told

Exactly one week ago.....

It is difficult to write about a major event six years later. I can partially remember the depth of sadness I experienced, but not fully. Photos and journal entries remind me of that tumultuous time, but so many things have changed since that wretched date, six years ago today. 

The day started so brightly that January 29, exactly the same day of the week six years ago. A Friday. A day that forever changed my life. Again.

 In 2006, I’d said farewell to the husband of my youth. The father of my children. I made a new covenant with another man, in 2008. I took his last name, Graybill. My husband Blair and I combined our family. His kids were mine and my kids were his. He had no grandchildren, so it was easy for him to adopt mine. But I digress. On that fateful Friday evening, Blair Graybill lost consciousness and never again regained it. He died, Sunday, January 31, 2010. There’s much I could say about him. Blair loved his God, he loved life, his sons, and my children and grandchildren. And he loved me. 

That time seems like another life, for it is. Yet the marriage that was only 17 months in length, taught me many things. Primarily, it taught me that I could love again. And love Blair I did. I have wonderful memories that I cherish. 

What I remember the most about those terrible days in January and beyond is how amazingly close my Savior and Comforter, Jesus was during that time of mourning and loss. 

Incredibly, God performed another miracle when He brought Jim into my life nearly four years later. I was warned I’d already had a Cinderella-like experience already after meeting and marrying my second husband, and was told it most likely wouldn’t happen again. But it did! And that’s what makes the story so wonderful. 

Jim and I are reading a devotional called The One Year Book of Psalms, 365 Inspirational Readings. This morning’s reading was excellent in describing our experience:

You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing.

You have taken away my clothes of mourning and 

clothed me with joy,

that I might sing praises to you and not be silent.

O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever!

So on this day, February 5, six years ago on 2010, the day we laid to rest Henry Blair Graybill II, I am remembering what I had with Blair. Thankful for the extra family members who call me Mama Shirley and Grammie. And we know this is not the end. Eternity will be the beginning. 

Walla Walla, Washington