Eyes Fixed on Jesus

A  flurry of thoughts this morning flooded my mind. Should I go out and pick the weeds that had cropped up since we'd been gone on vacation? Should I go for a much needed walk? Should I cruise FaceBook for awhile? Should I answer emails? Should I write a blog? What would it be about? Should I continue my writing for my new book?

Then Jim and I read in our devotion book, Jesus Calling, where Jesus said directly to me: Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:2).Wow! OK, Lord, I'll fix my eyes on YOU!

So many times in my life when I've been in a turmoil about different things, I've had this epiphany. Sometimes it has been grief. Sometimes anger. Sometimes fear. Sometimes a relationship is not what it should be. Yet the answer is still the same: fix your eyes on Jesus--who is the perfector of our faith--of our life here on earth--of everything!

I will--as an act of my will, fix my eyes.....

HOME

I’ve lived in three homes in the past six years. I wrote about the home last week that was on 68th Street. Where there were joys.... sorrows...and learning to live there all alone. I was a sorrowing widow, walking through the house. Sleepless at night, for my best friend was now gone. It was hard to sleep in a bed that seemed yawningly large without my husband of 40 years!

Then I met another. I was giddy with new love and excitement. He asked me to marry him---and I said yes!! I began to emotionally, and soon, physically move away from that place. It didn’t seem like home anymore.

My second home was one I first shared as a newlywed. It was exciting to rearrange the kitchen that made it mine. I made the living room more my style. We had seventeen happy months there. And then, I was widowed----again. I paced the floors at night. Watched the moon at the top crescent of my bedroom window and wondered if he saw that moon in heaven too. I began to paint and change the look in that house even more. A soft green embraced my bedroom walls. I put up a few simple pictures instead of a large gallery of family photos. I changed the office to a music/writing room. I painted the walls a soft greenish-beige to match the tapestry of my antique chair.

And then, miracles happen more than once--for I met another---Jim. He too, asked me to be his bride--and I said--yes!! Soon that lovely home on 30th Street began to lose its attraction, for I was making a new nest. At another location. 

Eventually, it became mine and Jim’s. We’re working together to make it “ours”. There are my pictures. And his too. A beautiful tapestry. More books on the shelves. A great room with a fireplace near the kitchen. A lovely fountain in the back yard.

In a couple of days, we’ll be going on a trip. I almost hate to leave, but I know we’ll be back....to home.