Super Bowl

Well, I made it through another Super Bowl. It was fun. My team won. My family was there. We had good food and laughed a lot.

That's not to say I didn't have glimmers of sadness during the day, for I did. Yesterday marked the anniversary of the death of my husband of 40 years. Bill died on February 3, 2006. It was two days later, on Super Bowl Sunday, we were planning his funeral service. People were at my house going over things he said and did. We were remembering.

The next couple of years were a learning experience. Learning to do things I'd never done before. Most of all, though, I learned to truly lean and trust in my Father God. He loved me so much He gave me as a  gift to his only Son, Jesus, who died for me!

Then I was given a wonderful, nearly heavenly-like experience. I fell in love again with a kind and wonderful man. Who loved football. Who would never miss a Super Bowl Game. So for one Super Bowl, Blair and I watched it together. By ourselves, for we didn't need anyone else. We ate. Cheered. Enjoyed each other's company.

Four years after that sad Super Bowl day of remembering Bill, I spent it alone again. Oh, the house was full of people, for we were celebrating Blair's life in the form of a Super Bowl Wake. But I was alone, for my best friend, lover and husband was not there. His memorial service was the day before. Blair's team lost that day. And we lost him.

I'm getting better. Learning how to live without both of those special men. Learning how to live a new normal. But Super Bowl always brings me back to those sad memories.

I do know this. Both Bill and Blair would have wanted me to go on. To move forward in my life. And I am. Some days are just more difficult than others. I'm glad there's only one Super Bowl every year.