Cleaning and organizing--a different kind of grief...

My dear son in law, Trent, gave me a gift last Christmas. He said he'd help me organize my garage with new shelves and such, to put a disorganized three car garage in better order. Who would have thought starting this project would make me grieve--but it did! I think I know why. My first husband, Bill, would never have needed my help in arranging and making things orderly. It was a family joke that we could eat in our garage. Everything was neat and in its place. I wonder what he would think about how my garage looks now?  I imagine he'd get in there and easily put things in a more orderly fashion. Then I think about Blair, my second husband--this was his garage that I'm organizing. I started tossing things I knew he wouldn't need any more-duplicate prints that were already framed and no one wanted, old classroom notes, and very old bank statements. I try to organize doubles of things--he had his garden tools, I had mine. Then I see his sun hat, no longer needed. Ouch. That hurts too.

Moving forward in life and even in my grieving process has its highs and lows. I know both husbands would be pleased that I'm even straightening my garage. Bill would say, "Good job, gorgeous!" Blair would say, "Well done, my sweetheart! You're a star!"

Here's to both of you, Bill and Blair. I'm so glad you both were in my life! I know garages aren't important to you now, but I like to think you'd both be pleased I'm continuing to live and move forward.